Goodness gracious!!!

Weee~ I'm back... With more injuries... Guess you can say i did it on purpose. But I still prefer to call it accidental. Cos well, it just doesn't sound like me to do these things on purpose. Anyways, I'm totally sinful to myself la. Last night, Daddy cooked a table of delicious dishes. Can't help it. Too tempting. Eaten 2 bowls of rice. And in the morning, I had 3 soft boiled eggs, 2 pieces of white bread, 11 mussels and had a bowl of fried beehoon. I can't believe myself too, i was full. CERTAINLY!!! But my stomach remained as flat!!! I know something is terribly wrong with my body alright... I mean. Yea, this is not normal and i haven't been starving myself lately. Have been taking heavy meals. Usual weight would normally be 42.++-43kg. But it's dropped to 40.++ and sometimes even 39kg... Tried my best to gain some weight but, nothing seems to work at all!!! FUCK!! When i wanna slim down, i gain weight. When i wanna get healthier, the numbers on the weighing machine just wun increase!!! Damn irritated now. Mummy says that she'll be bringing me to the doctors soon if this continues on. I hate the doctors -.- Always got tests to do and poking here and there. And too many questions from them!! The last time i went there, it was only for menstrual pains. Yet, stayed in the clinic for somewhat 1hour++. Haix! Though i missed being sick. But being sick now is pointless. Wun gain any attention from you. You wun be there to take care of me like you used to. It kindda reminded me of the time when i had fever. I slept in the room while you read Archie's beside me. Suddenly, I sat up and vomited. You were so surprised back then! So caring and patient with me you even packed porridge for me to eat cos i had no appetite at all. Thinking back, I guess I wasn't a good girlfriend after all. Asked you to come to my house even when you're sick. But I did had fun while taking care of you in my own house. Hehes^^ Slept with you after you took your medication, cooked for you, and it was my turn to read Archie's while you sleep that's when you had fever cos the towel on your forehead had to be cooled. I MISSED THOSE TIMES!!! Even though i can't get back those time with you anymore, i sure hope that you would remember those times we had together :))) Those are the memories which are worth to keep cos they are happy memories!!! Hmm... Seems like you really wan her as your wife liao uh... HAHAHAS!!! Okay... I'm sad. But there's nothing that i can do. We are already drifting apart. How i wish it didn't happen but it did. Yet, there's no point crying over spilt milo.(I dun like milk) It's great to know that you're happy. I know, by the time i realize this, I should decide that i should move on. But, I guess I'm just too stubborn. Lalalalala~~~ I guess I'm still gonna hang on even though the journey for me would be tough. I have to cos I have to fight for wad i wan. Nvr in my life have i ever fought so hard for someone that i love. Yea, not even my parents. Fight WITH them then have but nvr FOR them. So, this is something new to me. Hopefully, i succeed!^^ YONG SIN YEE, HWAITING~!