You reached home and texted me. Yea. I was too tired. Went to take a rest for awhile and fell asleep at that awkward position(face palm)! Haha! This time my fault... I wake up all of a sudden and dunno where my hp went also. So in the end, we still didn't talk. I Kindda missed your voice ><
Okay... Got SS exam tml before I can rest for 2 days before another paper starts. (yay?) you still haven taught me math and physics eh... When you going teach me uh?? Anyways, thanks for still testing me the good night msgs :)))
Good night, take care(iloveyou), sweet dreams, *hug hug*!! I'll morning call you tml morning ;)))
Monday, 30 April 2012
Sunday, 29 April 2012
Nothing went well!
Today sucks. Yes. I texted you that msg saying that maybe we shouldn't even be friends cos I still love you. I meant it. And I tot that I really lost you for good. For the next 3-5 hours, I was regretting it. All I wanna do was to give you a call straight away and hear your voice. Not like it's very nice. But it just somehow comforting. Afterwards, I realized. You're my drug!!! I can't pass a day without hearing from you. All I wanna do was to be by your side. Since 2 years ago, I've already decided to stay devoted to you. I confine every single thing to you without missing a detail. Even if in our relationship I think that I liked someone.
Leos are very strong in their determination. Once they are determined to devoted their time onto something, they will make sure they die still being devoted. They make sure that they will be there for you.
So I guess I just fit into that category. Sometimes, I just pray to God that he'd make me be bed ridden in coma so that I wouldn't be missing you that much that it hurts.
It was a difficult decision to let you go fully neither was it easy to do wad I tot I can. I dun have the will to. I know I wouldn't be able to take it. It's just too torturous. Life's mess without you with me.
It's been really hard on me. Didn't say that it was easy for you either. But you have her. I only had you. Worst can I dun even have anyone now. You are my everyone. All I needed was you!!!
Hope we really can talk later...
Leos are very strong in their determination. Once they are determined to devoted their time onto something, they will make sure they die still being devoted. They make sure that they will be there for you.
So I guess I just fit into that category. Sometimes, I just pray to God that he'd make me be bed ridden in coma so that I wouldn't be missing you that much that it hurts.
It was a difficult decision to let you go fully neither was it easy to do wad I tot I can. I dun have the will to. I know I wouldn't be able to take it. It's just too torturous. Life's mess without you with me.
It's been really hard on me. Didn't say that it was easy for you either. But you have her. I only had you. Worst can I dun even have anyone now. You are my everyone. All I needed was you!!!
Hope we really can talk later...
Saturday breakthrough!!!
Gonna end this day with this one last post.
The day today passed very very slowly... Play games, slack and study a little before daddy came home. Showered and went to expo with daddy. Go there see see look look. In the end, only spent $14.80. Cos there were nothing to see or buy. Kindda like a wasted trip ba.
Had my first actual meal for the week. Fried kuay teow. Not nice!!! Still forced them down my throat tho. Daddy also forced his noodles down his throat. Texted you through out the trip. You were out with her. Asked some questions and stuffs. Got you angry cos I told you an example which you tot I Did for real. Thank you very much!!! It shown me how much you really cared for me.
Went jogging with you after I reached home. Our staminas both dropped. I kept feeling unwell while jogging. Had to fist my chest many times. I also dunno why I did that but it made me feel more comfortable. You smoked too much. Cannot run Liao. Wahahahaha!!! That shall teach you not to smoke.
Ran to the flying fox de playground around admiralty. Memories~~~ used to play there together. Rested for awhile there. Then ran back. I tot you told me you can't run le. So I walked. In the end, have to chase you... Run half way through. Felt a little queasy. Then vomited by the road side. Didn't wanna tell you anything cos I was afraid that you would get worried. Please dun dun wanna run with me ever again~~~ *pouts*
Ran fast to chase up with you. Ended up getting pains at the rib cage.
So I sat down straight away when I saw a chair. While I sat down, I felt blood pumping through my mind, blurry vision. Then went black for awhile until you picked me up. Almost fainted but, sorry. Didnt know that it would happen.
Went to fitness corner to rest and work out a lil. Then you ran home while I stared at the sky for stars to appear.
You should be fine by now, sleeping tightly in bed. Good night, take care (I love you), sweet dreams! *hugs*
The day today passed very very slowly... Play games, slack and study a little before daddy came home. Showered and went to expo with daddy. Go there see see look look. In the end, only spent $14.80. Cos there were nothing to see or buy. Kindda like a wasted trip ba.
Had my first actual meal for the week. Fried kuay teow. Not nice!!! Still forced them down my throat tho. Daddy also forced his noodles down his throat. Texted you through out the trip. You were out with her. Asked some questions and stuffs. Got you angry cos I told you an example which you tot I Did for real. Thank you very much!!! It shown me how much you really cared for me.
Went jogging with you after I reached home. Our staminas both dropped. I kept feeling unwell while jogging. Had to fist my chest many times. I also dunno why I did that but it made me feel more comfortable. You smoked too much. Cannot run Liao. Wahahahaha!!! That shall teach you not to smoke.
Ran to the flying fox de playground around admiralty. Memories~~~ used to play there together. Rested for awhile there. Then ran back. I tot you told me you can't run le. So I walked. In the end, have to chase you... Run half way through. Felt a little queasy. Then vomited by the road side. Didn't wanna tell you anything cos I was afraid that you would get worried. Please dun dun wanna run with me ever again~~~ *pouts*
Ran fast to chase up with you. Ended up getting pains at the rib cage.
So I sat down straight away when I saw a chair. While I sat down, I felt blood pumping through my mind, blurry vision. Then went black for awhile until you picked me up. Almost fainted but, sorry. Didnt know that it would happen.
Went to fitness corner to rest and work out a lil. Then you ran home while I stared at the sky for stars to appear.
You should be fine by now, sleeping tightly in bed. Good night, take care (I love you), sweet dreams! *hugs*
Saturday, 28 April 2012
Second weekend without you...
Today is the start of the the second weekend without you with me. Start of the day, called you. You said that you wun be going to HRC today cos you were too tired...
Haix. I dunno wad to say about you la. That's your passion and you would nvr let anything like that to make you miss out on that de... Last minute especially.
So, wad has gotten into you?? Well, just hope you know wad you're doing and wad's good for you.
I guess today I'll be slacking at home lo... Nothing to do. No you no anyone. I'm alone. As much as I hate it, I have no choice. I'm gonna miss the days where we spent together hang out or playing at home. Hehes!! Memories~^^
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Unsettled heart :/
Yeah. By the time I post this blog post, I've most likely already faced reality and think that I should let you go. You've already got her. Wad to do?? I've only got you...
But even if I pester you or things like that, you wouldn't like it. Moreover, I've already pestered you for more than over a week. I think you're irritated already right??
Well, so now I'll just be your very guai de xiaomeimei ba. But I know you'll nvr ever call me that. It's easy for you to call me by my name. But it was nvr for me. Unless we're in skool or when I'm angry.
I really hope that you wouldn't ignore me despite our relationship right now. It still hurts and I'm still afraid. It's just that now, I'll let you have your own space and probably come back when you think that it's time??
You are my first love and also the one that I love the most. My heart shattered to know that you'll no longer be by my side. But I wish you the best in NPCC, skool and your family.
We're still friends alright?? You know how I'm so afraid of totally losing you. So... Nvr do that can?? You told me that we still can maintain like this. So I hope you really meant wad you said. Trust you ;)))
For now, I'll just wait to see the day that my ultimate goal can come true. I pray to God, knowing that he knows wad is best for me.
I've nvr regretted ever giving you so much but regretted not giving you more. If fate were to bring us back together again, there is more that I would want to give to you.
Hope to see you soon^^
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Friday, 27 April 2012
Yes, that's wad I'm thinking...
I did something that I know you really hate. I know. Wad was i thinking?!
I was thinking about you. Well, no worries. I'm still alive. Wun hunt you even if im dead too. I remember you took my penknife away just because you were afraid that I would do that again. You did the right thing? I had to experiment using other things. And apparently, those thing only made it swell with only 2 drops of life liquid.
Now, all thats left are scars I guess... It feels good. It's like I've finally relieved my mind for once. But this wun cause permanent scars or send me to hell, heaven or hospital. I hate myself for doing something that I shouldn't have done. I should have endured till my exams ends. But how can I? The way you treat me cooly. And how you would ignore me and stuffs. Is that how 2 persons who deeply love each other would behave?? NO!!!
I didn't like the way you treat me esp when I know that the person who's trying to "comfort"(?) you is the girl that I was afraid you'd leave me for.
Being a stalker for a month on twitter, I know everything, yet I cant do anything about it until things started to backfire. I've already told myself to "close one eye" but by doing that, I'm losing you to her each and everytime I ignore it.
You told me that we broke up because of NPCC. Is that all? Or is there also another reason behind it as well??
You left me telling me that you still love me. I was discouraged. I hadn't done my job well, so you wanna leave me. Fine, I'll give you the space that you needed. But, have you ever considered how I felt when I actually know it all?? I tot that you were just trying to be friendly and wanted to help her since she broke up. I tot that you were that nice person that I still had in mind. But when?? When did your heart change?? You told me that it was after the break up. Am I right?? If so, why did you already act so lovingly towards her even before those things happened?? I always had those questions in my mind. Did I ever asked you about it??
I think I did. But wad was your ans?? You would tell me I dunno. When I asked you about your relationship, you told me that you were just friends. Wad about us now?? Wad about the us that we both promised to not hurt one another?? Where has it gone to?? Any ideas?? Well, seriously, I dunno wad more I could say.
But I really do still love you as much as how you had once maxed your love for me.
No matter how much you could have done to hurt me.
I'll still cling onto you.
I kept lying to myself "maybe he's just trying to make me hate him or make me jealous??"
Well, if there is anything that you may have problems with, I'm just 9 buttons away, including the "call" button.
I know that you would always tell me "I can solve my problems myself!"
But if you ever need a listening ear, I'll be there for you 24/7.
The broken hearted's rants.
I was thinking about you. Well, no worries. I'm still alive. Wun hunt you even if im dead too. I remember you took my penknife away just because you were afraid that I would do that again. You did the right thing? I had to experiment using other things. And apparently, those thing only made it swell with only 2 drops of life liquid.
Now, all thats left are scars I guess... It feels good. It's like I've finally relieved my mind for once. But this wun cause permanent scars or send me to hell, heaven or hospital. I hate myself for doing something that I shouldn't have done. I should have endured till my exams ends. But how can I? The way you treat me cooly. And how you would ignore me and stuffs. Is that how 2 persons who deeply love each other would behave?? NO!!!
I didn't like the way you treat me esp when I know that the person who's trying to "comfort"(?) you is the girl that I was afraid you'd leave me for.
Being a stalker for a month on twitter, I know everything, yet I cant do anything about it until things started to backfire. I've already told myself to "close one eye" but by doing that, I'm losing you to her each and everytime I ignore it.
You told me that we broke up because of NPCC. Is that all? Or is there also another reason behind it as well??
You left me telling me that you still love me. I was discouraged. I hadn't done my job well, so you wanna leave me. Fine, I'll give you the space that you needed. But, have you ever considered how I felt when I actually know it all?? I tot that you were just trying to be friendly and wanted to help her since she broke up. I tot that you were that nice person that I still had in mind. But when?? When did your heart change?? You told me that it was after the break up. Am I right?? If so, why did you already act so lovingly towards her even before those things happened?? I always had those questions in my mind. Did I ever asked you about it??
I think I did. But wad was your ans?? You would tell me I dunno. When I asked you about your relationship, you told me that you were just friends. Wad about us now?? Wad about the us that we both promised to not hurt one another?? Where has it gone to?? Any ideas?? Well, seriously, I dunno wad more I could say.
But I really do still love you as much as how you had once maxed your love for me.
No matter how much you could have done to hurt me.
I'll still cling onto you.
I kept lying to myself "maybe he's just trying to make me hate him or make me jealous??"
Well, if there is anything that you may have problems with, I'm just 9 buttons away, including the "call" button.
I know that you would always tell me "I can solve my problems myself!"
But if you ever need a listening ear, I'll be there for you 24/7.
The broken hearted's rants.
Long post??
I guess I'll be devoting most of my time here from now onwards.
It's really hard to just let you go esp during examinations.
Can't study well, Can't eat well, can't sleep well, can't focus and all other sorts of rubbish!!!!
Why do i miss you that much like seriously!!!
Cos you dumped me again?
But this didn't happen the first time it happened.
So why now that i miss you so much that i cry?
Are you really gone forever?
I know, I've been doing the things that people are asking me not to do.
But i just can't take it. Everytime i called and everytime i msg, I get upset when your replies are short.
You used to be the one texting me long long long msges.
Now, I'm the one who terrorizes your inbox with mails and spam you with calls!!!
I didn't wanna do it either. But I'm scared. I have no other activities to commit to.
You have. You have her too! But I've got nothing, nothing at all!
Told you about your blog's password.
I actually knows the password.WOW~~~!!!
But since i told you until now, have you even checked your account yet???
I guess not right?
You gonna meet your gal later.
Yea. She's better than me. She can drink better than me, understand you better than i do, go look for you other than having you look for her, and wad's more? She at a legal age!!!
Now, who do i blame? Blame mama for having intercourse too late?
Well, i guess I've only got myself to blame...
I was supposed to go for VIP last year end.
But mummy wan me to work, so wad can i do??? Lan Lan Lo~~~
But i think i now regret. Why?
Cos if i went, i might not be the one losing you now.
We could have been more happy. Right? RIGHT!!!
So, now, wad do i do????
Life without you is boring, sucky, heartbreaking, masochist, lifeless, sad, moodless, and dead.
Well, just consider me dead ba.
And every morning when you have to attend classes, a ghost frm hell will make a wake up call just for you from below ^^ (Damn Cool~~~!!!)
Why am i even behaving in such manner???
I asked myself for the 123456789.... I dunno how many time la!!!!
But can you answer that question for me??
I sure hope you can. You always have the answers. Or do you...(?)
HMMMMMMM.... I dunno! But guess wad! I just realised!
Since i started posting again, all posts are so long long long long de.
Something that you used to request for, long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long posts!!!
Wah! So long...
Oh, and i just realised... This is like my 100th post!!! YAY(?)
Didn't expect it to be so emo :/
It's really hard to just let you go esp during examinations.
Can't study well, Can't eat well, can't sleep well, can't focus and all other sorts of rubbish!!!!
Why do i miss you that much like seriously!!!
Cos you dumped me again?
But this didn't happen the first time it happened.
So why now that i miss you so much that i cry?
Are you really gone forever?
I know, I've been doing the things that people are asking me not to do.
But i just can't take it. Everytime i called and everytime i msg, I get upset when your replies are short.
You used to be the one texting me long long long msges.
Now, I'm the one who terrorizes your inbox with mails and spam you with calls!!!
I didn't wanna do it either. But I'm scared. I have no other activities to commit to.
You have. You have her too! But I've got nothing, nothing at all!
Told you about your blog's password.
I actually knows the password.WOW~~~!!!
But since i told you until now, have you even checked your account yet???
I guess not right?
You gonna meet your gal later.
Yea. She's better than me. She can drink better than me, understand you better than i do, go look for you other than having you look for her, and wad's more? She at a legal age!!!
Now, who do i blame? Blame mama for having intercourse too late?
Well, i guess I've only got myself to blame...
I was supposed to go for VIP last year end.
But mummy wan me to work, so wad can i do??? Lan Lan Lo~~~
But i think i now regret. Why?
Cos if i went, i might not be the one losing you now.
We could have been more happy. Right? RIGHT!!!
So, now, wad do i do????
Life without you is boring, sucky, heartbreaking, masochist, lifeless, sad, moodless, and dead.
Well, just consider me dead ba.
And every morning when you have to attend classes, a ghost frm hell will make a wake up call just for you from below ^^ (Damn Cool~~~!!!)
Why am i even behaving in such manner???
I asked myself for the 123456789.... I dunno how many time la!!!!
But can you answer that question for me??
I sure hope you can. You always have the answers. Or do you...(?)
HMMMMMMM.... I dunno! But guess wad! I just realised!
Since i started posting again, all posts are so long long long long de.
Something that you used to request for, long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long posts!!!
Wah! So long...
Oh, and i just realised... This is like my 100th post!!! YAY(?)
Didn't expect it to be so emo :/
I'm insane
Great... I woke up like so early in the morning so automatically... And why?
Cos my heart ached again... I miss you...Saw your tweets. Saw hers as well...
My heart is fucking bleeding. Heart surgeon shouts" There's a hemorrhage!!! Prepare for blood transfusion now!!!" Can i like just tell my surgeon. " Hey doc, this wun work. It's only temporary. My heart's dying every single day. I dun wanna go on anymore."
Everytime you told me that you're with her, started to imagine things. Do you do with her the things that we do? Do you go to the places that we used to go to? Do you even remember that we were once there!!! Why... I'm such a fool!!! I encouraged you to woe her did i? Cos you know why? When i see that you're sad, i am as well. I can't bear to see you sad. I wanted you happy. You both liked each other.I supported you to go after her. But at the same time, also digging my own grave. I died each time my heart fails on me. I've tried to forget you. Not that i want to. But you tot that that was a good idea too... I'm really lost now. She loves you. I had always loved you!!! That's why in the first place i was afraid when you told me that you are only trying to comfort her as a friend cos she just broke up with her boyfriend. I didn't want those things to happen. I told you to let her recover or maybe someone else will comfort her. But not you! In the end, both of you fell for each other yea... I know how it would feel like cos I've been there before. The first time you left me, Mr J was with me all along. I fell for him too. He cared for me and really loved me. In that relationship, I still had you in my heart, i betrayed him. But at the same time, i loved him for being the only one who would always care. I'm just afraid that that you would nvr return to me ever again. It hurts thinking about it.
People asked me to move on. It's hard. Really. There were too much memories in this relationship that we've built, you may forget them. But i nvr will. I love having those memories. Those were my happiest days. Home was so much a place of comfort and a place where we shared our love for each other. Now, it's back to just being another confined space for me to think and reminisce about you. About us! We've created those memories together. We created it to last. I just can't believe that you've already thrown those memories together away. I still have them installed clearly in my head! I want you back! I want you to get those memories restored back!
Now, every morning, I would wake up for nothing and start to cry about everything. I cry, for I've lost you to another girl. I cry, as i yearned for your return. I cry, for i gave you my all. I cry, for I've lost everything. I cry, for the memories that you've totally abandoned. I cry, for you're creating new memories, replacing ours. I cry, cos you are worth my tears. I cry, for I feel lifeless without you. I cry, because I LOVE YOU...
I know "sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead" We had planned for our future. Our home, our children and our family. And now that you're gone, I'm just like a housewife who'd lost the sole bread winner of the household. Everything is falling apart. You told me that you wouldn't get into another relationship for months? Or years? You told me that it's very hard to influence you once you've decided on one thing. I know that. But why did my influence made you want her now? My heart broke when i saw that you planted a kiss even though only on the cheeks. I was afraid. Cos, it shows that you really likes her a lot!!! And i dun wan that to happen. You told me " on the cheeks only, you wan me to demo?" And do you know? When you "demo" how it went, my heart skipped a bit. Now, i know how she felt when you did that. But did you know? I guess not...
I'm a total mess now. It's only been a week. Yes, you asked me not to hurt myself. I'm not hurting myself. At least not physically. But i really hoped that it is physically. It hurts more than the cuts, my heart, is the one that is hurt. But you can't see it. It's well hidden.
I've got an exam later, yet I'm pouring my heart out here. I haven't even studied. What do i do?? Just fail this exam i think. I LOVE YOU, Dear star...
Cos my heart ached again... I miss you...Saw your tweets. Saw hers as well...
My heart is fucking bleeding. Heart surgeon shouts" There's a hemorrhage!!! Prepare for blood transfusion now!!!" Can i like just tell my surgeon. " Hey doc, this wun work. It's only temporary. My heart's dying every single day. I dun wanna go on anymore."
Everytime you told me that you're with her, started to imagine things. Do you do with her the things that we do? Do you go to the places that we used to go to? Do you even remember that we were once there!!! Why... I'm such a fool!!! I encouraged you to woe her did i? Cos you know why? When i see that you're sad, i am as well. I can't bear to see you sad. I wanted you happy. You both liked each other.I supported you to go after her. But at the same time, also digging my own grave. I died each time my heart fails on me. I've tried to forget you. Not that i want to. But you tot that that was a good idea too... I'm really lost now. She loves you. I had always loved you!!! That's why in the first place i was afraid when you told me that you are only trying to comfort her as a friend cos she just broke up with her boyfriend. I didn't want those things to happen. I told you to let her recover or maybe someone else will comfort her. But not you! In the end, both of you fell for each other yea... I know how it would feel like cos I've been there before. The first time you left me, Mr J was with me all along. I fell for him too. He cared for me and really loved me. In that relationship, I still had you in my heart, i betrayed him. But at the same time, i loved him for being the only one who would always care. I'm just afraid that that you would nvr return to me ever again. It hurts thinking about it.
People asked me to move on. It's hard. Really. There were too much memories in this relationship that we've built, you may forget them. But i nvr will. I love having those memories. Those were my happiest days. Home was so much a place of comfort and a place where we shared our love for each other. Now, it's back to just being another confined space for me to think and reminisce about you. About us! We've created those memories together. We created it to last. I just can't believe that you've already thrown those memories together away. I still have them installed clearly in my head! I want you back! I want you to get those memories restored back!
Now, every morning, I would wake up for nothing and start to cry about everything. I cry, for I've lost you to another girl. I cry, as i yearned for your return. I cry, for i gave you my all. I cry, for I've lost everything. I cry, for the memories that you've totally abandoned. I cry, for you're creating new memories, replacing ours. I cry, cos you are worth my tears. I cry, for I feel lifeless without you. I cry, because I LOVE YOU...
I know "sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead" We had planned for our future. Our home, our children and our family. And now that you're gone, I'm just like a housewife who'd lost the sole bread winner of the household. Everything is falling apart. You told me that you wouldn't get into another relationship for months? Or years? You told me that it's very hard to influence you once you've decided on one thing. I know that. But why did my influence made you want her now? My heart broke when i saw that you planted a kiss even though only on the cheeks. I was afraid. Cos, it shows that you really likes her a lot!!! And i dun wan that to happen. You told me " on the cheeks only, you wan me to demo?" And do you know? When you "demo" how it went, my heart skipped a bit. Now, i know how she felt when you did that. But did you know? I guess not...
I'm a total mess now. It's only been a week. Yes, you asked me not to hurt myself. I'm not hurting myself. At least not physically. But i really hoped that it is physically. It hurts more than the cuts, my heart, is the one that is hurt. But you can't see it. It's well hidden.
I've got an exam later, yet I'm pouring my heart out here. I haven't even studied. What do i do?? Just fail this exam i think. I LOVE YOU, Dear star...
Thursday, 26 April 2012
Unhappy come back
Hahahs! I'm back! But i also know that no one would ever notice that i posted another entry anyways.
So, for the time being, i think i will be posting much on this blog^^
It's been a long time since i even touched this blog... Looking at the things that i used to post here, I guess i really had hurt the guy whom I've always posted about. Now I'm getting my retribution. Yea. You warned me that he would do the same thing to me too. At that time, all i ever wanted was to be with him. I had never changed since i decided that i want him back. My dear, i still love you. No matter wad, you'll still be the best, cutest, handsomest, loveliest guy i ever wanted for myself!!! These past 1 year plus, many things have happened. We've done so many things together. We pack each others' bags before camps, we cry together, sleep together, laugh together, worry together, play together, rich together, poor together. All i ever wanted was that we do everything together! I wanted it so much that I had neglected your own personal privacy and space. I promised that i would never interfere with your NPCC stuffs. I am sorry i did not keep my promise.
You told me that your love for me started to deplete since the beginning of the year after CNY. I'm sorry i didn't realise that you were giving me hints that you were tired. I always wanted as much time as i can with you. Everytime i saw a msg from a female, i got upset. Yes, I'm a jealous girlfriend too. Last month, you created a twitter account i told you that i had an account too just that i didn't even wanna look at it as it was really very complicating. After that, i saw you always on twitter but i didn't know at all what you were thinking. You didn't told me either. If you had told me earlier that you were tired, i would have been that good girlfriend to you and visited you on every weekends that you are free!!! I was starting to really like your family. It so much noisier than my house but i liked that feeling. It's just like one family. Your siblings care about you so much! I really am envious of your relationship with your siblings. How i wish i had siblings like that too. Your family had shown care towards me too! I was really glad that someone actually cared. It was a feeling that i had once had but had lost since i was 12. I was too busy with my church stuff after i attended the adult service that i had no time to accompany my family.
Well, now that we are gone, there's only me left. Daddy Mummy showed care and concern towards me after the break up. I admit that i like being cared for. But their care have made me feel hurt. They made me feel like I've disappointed them for not being able to even maintain a good relationship with my boyfriend. I can see that they kindda miss you as well. Without your presence at home, this place became a quiet place again. I still remember how mummy would ask you to nag at me for not wanting to do things. I remember we would hug each other from the back while one of us washes the dishes. And even the times that we would quarrel for almost nothing! Those were the days yea?
It's been a week since we broke up. I admit that i still love you as much. My heart broke when you told me that she had accepted you. If I'm not wrong, it was only yesterday that you asked her. The day before, we met at the usual place. I had many things that i wanted to tell you. I even wanted to scold you i dunno for wad reasons. But, after i saw you, i was so happy, everything i wanted to say all of a sudden dispersed into the thin air. It was really nice to know that you're happy now. But, I'm still kindda heartbroken that the person who made you smile wasn't me. That day, i wanted to attack you with a kiss but you shunned. I did not elbow you in the chest on purpose. I lost balance and almost fell, so... Hahas!! It was embarrassing!!! *blushes* Like really!!! OMG!!!! I'm really sorry cos i had wanted to kiss you to tell you how much i missed you and how much i wanted you back!!! I asked for a hug afterward. Thanks for the hug!!! It was really comforting although I felt that there was a sense or resistance in you. I was happy that we can still remain this way.
I've lost you for the second time. I didn't know if i would ever get you back again this time. If I can't get you back any sooner, i would wait. I'll await the day when i get you back in my arms. For now, I'll be addressing you as "Dakorkor" like i used to when you first left me. Guess I'm still more comfortable with calling you dakorkor than calling you star or byeol. I dunno what or how things will turn out later on in life. But one thing for sure, my love for you will nvr ever change! I just hope that we can maintain like this or that this relationship of our could improve. You told me that your feelings of friendship and love towards her is now equal but higher than mine. And that you treat me more as a friend now than a lover but both less than hers. I just hope that this chart is proportional and that your love for me can increase more even if our friendship were to suffer. If i could ever get you back, i will change for the better, for our future. Above is the song that you used to always listen to. Now I'm the one who's loving it ;(((( LOVE YOU ALWAYS, sinyee.
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