Even though it's different now, you're still here somehow~

Yeap! Things are different now. Gotta accept reality as it is. It's cruel, everyone know it yet life still goes on... It took me quite some short time. I guess all I can do now is to use my imagination dat's all. Went for counseling today. And yea... Still, took 2 hours in there again. Talked a lot. Yup, I'm not ready to forget I'm not ready to give up. But I still have plans for myself. So I'm just gonna put our things aside first. Have to also take into consideration my dear's feelings la. I know I'm being selfish but I can't help it. Someone once told me that love is selfish. I loved him way too much I can't lose him totally. Haven been able to focus on my studies much so Mrs Stella Goh tot me a method I can help myself and motivate myself to study. I really loved the idea. Let's just hope that it works for me^^ *fingers crossed* These days, I haven't been me. I missed the old me who would be so childish towards this one person just so that I can see him return an aegyo back. Missed those times. Hahas!! Had a really good talk with Mrs Goh and she tot me many things and told me things that I have to know. Although those things that she said did hurt me a lot but yea. I guess it's true. I have to be prepared I still have my own future whether or not he's gonna be in it. Yea, Mrs Goh did tell me that I'm intelligent. I know what I should do yet my heart just tells me otherwise. Hahas! But that's me. Silly and stubborn. I hurt myself yet I didn't mind at all. Dug a really deep hole for myself to be burried in yet I'm not doing anything to make the hole shallow again. One day, I'm just gonna jump into that hole and be gone forever. Had always tot that it would be the best solution of all yet, I am having doubts about it. How about my dreams?? I had set myself to be successful. Am I just gonna die without having to feel the success in my life?? So I've decided that yes, I may still be harbouring some feelings for you but I'm not gonna let it show or let it affect my studies or my life. May I wish myself luck cos I know it's nvr gonna be easy. One day, I'll make Miley cyrus' I miss you depict the situation I'm in.