Unhappy come back

Hahahs! I'm back! But i also know that no one would ever notice that i posted another entry anyways.
So, for the time being, i think i will be posting much on this blog^^

It's been a long time since i even touched this blog... Looking at the things that i used to post here, I guess i really had hurt the guy whom I've always posted about. Now I'm getting my retribution. Yea. You warned me that he would do the same thing to me too. At that time, all i ever wanted was to be with him. I had never changed since i decided that i want him back. My dear, i still love you. No matter wad, you'll still be the best, cutest, handsomest, loveliest guy i ever wanted for myself!!! These past 1 year plus, many things have happened. We've done so many things together. We pack each others' bags before camps, we cry together, sleep together, laugh together, worry together, play together, rich together, poor together. All i ever wanted was that we do everything together! I wanted it so much that I had neglected your own personal privacy and space. I promised that i would never interfere with your NPCC stuffs. I am sorry i did not keep my promise.

You told me that your love for me started to deplete since the beginning of the year after CNY. I'm sorry i didn't realise that you were giving me hints that you were tired. I always wanted as much time as i can with you. Everytime i saw a msg from a female, i got upset. Yes, I'm a jealous girlfriend too. Last month, you created a twitter account i told you that i had an account too just that i didn't even wanna look at it as it was really very complicating. After that, i saw you always on twitter but i didn't know at all what you were thinking. You didn't told me either. If you had told me earlier that you were tired, i would have been that good girlfriend to you and visited you on every weekends that you are free!!! I was starting to really like your family. It so much noisier than my house but i liked that feeling. It's just like one family. Your siblings care about you so much! I really am envious of your relationship with your siblings. How i wish i had siblings like that too. Your family had shown care towards me too! I was really glad that someone actually cared. It was a feeling that i had once had but had lost since i was 12. I was too busy with my church stuff after i attended the adult service that i had no time to accompany my family.

Well, now that we are gone, there's only me left. Daddy Mummy showed care and concern towards me after the break up. I admit that i like being cared for. But their care have made me feel hurt. They made me feel like I've disappointed them for not being able to even maintain a good relationship with my boyfriend. I can see that they kindda miss you as well. Without your presence at home, this place became a quiet place again. I still remember how mummy would ask you to nag at me for not wanting to do things. I remember we would hug each other from the back while one of us washes the dishes. And even the times that we would quarrel for almost nothing! Those were the days yea?

It's been a week since we broke up. I admit that i still love you as much. My heart broke when you told me that she had accepted you. If I'm not wrong, it was only yesterday that you asked her. The day before, we met at the usual place. I had many things that i wanted to tell you. I even wanted to scold you i dunno for wad reasons. But, after i saw you, i was so happy, everything i wanted to say all of a sudden dispersed into the thin air. It was really nice to know that you're happy now. But, I'm still kindda heartbroken that the person who made you smile wasn't me. That day, i wanted to attack you with a kiss but you shunned. I did not elbow you in the chest on purpose. I lost balance and almost fell, so... Hahas!! It was embarrassing!!! *blushes* Like really!!! OMG!!!! I'm really sorry cos i had wanted to kiss you to tell you how much i missed you and how much i wanted you back!!! I asked for a hug afterward. Thanks for the hug!!! It was really comforting although I felt that there was a sense or resistance in you. I was happy that we can still remain this way.

I've lost you for the second time. I didn't know if i would ever get you back again this time. If I can't get you back any sooner, i would wait. I'll await the day when i get you back in my arms. For now, I'll be addressing you as "Dakorkor" like i used to when you first left me. Guess I'm still more comfortable with calling you dakorkor than calling you star or byeol. I dunno what or how things will turn out later on in life. But one thing for sure, my love for you will nvr ever change! I just hope that we can maintain like this or that this relationship of our could improve. You told me that your feelings of friendship and love towards her is now equal but higher than mine. And that you treat me more as a friend now than a lover but both less than hers. I just hope that this chart is proportional and that your love for me can increase more even if our friendship were to suffer. If i could ever get you back, i will change for the better, for our future. Above is the song that you used to always listen to. Now I'm the one who's loving it ;(((( LOVE YOU ALWAYS, sinyee.